A couple of months ago, after much deliberation, really after years of deliberation, Dave and I decided it was time to retire from the Army. GULP! The Army has been our way of life since we married, and for Dave even longer. It is an insular way of life, not necessarily in all the negative meanings of the word, but insular in that it is a very specific, rule-following, mandated kind of life. Now, suddenly, we will be free. Alone. Making choices of where to live, where to work, what to do for the first time since I said “I do” and Dave swore The Oath of Enlistment.
I cannot describe the rollercoaster we’ve been riding the last year as we’ve come to this decision, nor the rollercoaster we are on now as we prepare to separate from the Army. Thankfully the Army has created a special class for us to follow, to guide us on this journey. This week we are both in class to gather as much information and help as possible to not only leave the Army, but also to prepare us for civilian life, work, housing, finances, medical and even lingo. We are going to have to stop speaking in the acronyms that are such an ingrained part of our daily vocabulary.
Almost every word out of the instructors mouth has been an eye-opener for us. It is amazing the things we do not know. The things we’ve taken for granted. How many little things will change. How many big things will change. How many decisions we have to make. The past couple of nights Dave and I have dropped into bed utterly exhausted, overwhelmed with all the information (but so incredibly grateful). We are too tired to talk, too busy in our own heads, and we simply clutch hands before falling into a deep, short, sleep.
We don’t know what the future holds, despite over 25 years of active duty, Dave is still young. We still have a young household. While Dave does have serious, chronic, injuries from his years of service, he is still capable of working, and excited to start a new job, a new career, with a lot less hours than the military demands. His opportunities are endless. Tess is begging us to stay in Germany, until she finishes high school. She loves her school for the first time in years. Cole is debating attending an EU university, if we stay in a civilian position in Germany. Dane is German (he is not). He never wants to leave. Our parents are at the edge of their seats, hoping we move back to the states. Our big boys, Soren, Nicholas & Christian, as well as our grandson Bert and his mother, are not pushing us to move back stateside… though Soren has found a house for sale just down the block from his own.
As we fill out paperwork for medical, dental, school, housing, allotments, claims, life insurance, burial plans, long-term care, our minds are just reeling. I am truly looking forward to having a husband who is home more. Travels less. Works less hours. I am also terrified of what that looks like in practice. We are taking it one day at a time. Slowly. We are taking advantage of every person at the Office of Transition. I sit at the front of the class and ask more questions than is probably appreciated, and still it is overwhelming.
Two things I know for sure. This is the right decision. And I will be forever grateful to the Army for the amazing opportunities to see the world. All my travel, all my experiences these last 7 years especially, would not have been possible without this job. It will be a bittersweet farewell, but I am looking forward to a new, bright, future. As Shakespeare wrote in The Merry Wives of Windsor:
“The world is your oyster.” I plan to make it ours.
On our wedding date in 1996.
Last year at the Colonel’s retirement with our favorite General.
Wow, you are looking at a whole new way of life! Our nephew has been in the Navy for more than his 20 & will have that whole transition ahead of him when he retires. He has spent most of his time in Japan, with lots of travel the last few years. He married a woman from the Philippines and I know she much prefers living in Japan to the States. She will probably want to move back to the Philippines & I don’t think that would be the life for him, but she will want to be close to her very large extended family. Good luck as you make this journey.
We are struggling with our choices too. There are so many places. So much family on both sides. It’s not an easy choice at all. Of course, job offers will make a huge impact on our decision.
Six years ago our son retired after 26 years in the Navy as a Master Diver. He was fortunate to find a civilian position which closely mirrored what he was doing in the military and he has enjoyed his new position and “life less restricted”. Now he is planning ahead ten years when he retires from his current job. His children are grown and living their own lives and next it is his turn. We just spent a week with him in the Pacific Northwest looking for property on which to build his dream home upon his second retirement. I’m sure your future will be determined through thoughtful consideration, lots of communication, and a few prayers. We will look forward to continuing this journey with you.
Judy, this reminds me of something our instructor said in class. There is training available for life-after-the-military, and one guy wanted to be a Deep Sea Diver… unfortunately he had moved back to Kansas 😀
Congrats, and welcome to Military Retirement and Civilian life. We retired from the Air Force in the early 90’s, and I can honestly tell you that it is a culture shock! Eventually it all works out though, but I can say for the first 2 years, there were many times my husband and I both wished we could turn back the clock!
Glad you have valuable resources to help you in your new journey, and best of luck in whatever you decide to do!
Thanks Cathy! I can imagine it will be a double whammy when we retire and move back to the states. Still, I am very excited to be in charge of our future!
As an Air Force brat, I know your kids will be able to adjust to whatever you choose to do and wherever you choose to live. It’s the way of life for them, as it was for me. But I will say I was glad to leave that nomadic life and settle down in one place. That’s just my experience, though. Many of my fellow military brats have chosen the same life they had with their families. I’m grateful for all the various phases of my life and the opportunities they afforded; your kids will be, too, I’m sure. Congrats!
Toiny & Dave,
God bless you on this new journey you are going to be taking. Just remember that God is in control and that He wants what is good for us. All things are possible to those who are faithful and willing to let God.
Be Blest and know the our Father in heaven loves you all.
Love in HIm
Linda
I wouldn’t even begin to imagine what this is like for you. Anna Aspnes hubby retired recently from service. Perhaps, she could shed some light on what it is like. Whatever you do, I wish you all the very, very best!
Su
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[…] are heading down the home stretch at breakneck speed towards retirement. Dave officially retires March 31 after 25+ years in the Army. I will no longer be an Army wife. We will no longer get a […]