I’m wallowing in an ocean of darkness. Things, life, are not going my way. I’m separated by half a planet from not just my three oldest, but my husband. My Dave. My partner in crime.
It’s not that I can’t handle a separation. It’s not that I can’t handle wrangling kids alone. It’s not that I can’t handle all the things. I can. I’m a pro. I’ve been a military wife for over 20 years. This time is different. This time we aren’t military. We are retired. We are in a strange country with no base support. No community. We are alone. I am alone.
And it’s the uncertaintity. Dave got the job offer in October. All we are waiting on is the paperwork. The work visa. We are waiting on the bureaucrats to do their job. He wants to work. The office wants him to work. He just can’t come back to Germany without the work visa. Bureaucrats take forever.
The last week(s) have been especially difficult. The house ran out of oil. Cars broke. Kids got sick. Friends left. Our pet rat died. There were tears… and a lot were mine.
Tuesday morning the oil guy finally showed up. Heat! Hot showers! Joy! I had just paid him, and I was happily making fresh coffee in the kitchen, when the doorbell rang. I assumed it was the oil guy. Needing who-knows-what. Instead it was my favorite mail lady, her arms filled with a big tall box.
Since we are on a tight budget while Dave is waiting to come back and work, I knew I had ordered nothing. Curious I sped up my step and opened the door.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Flowers.” She said.
“For me!” I yelled. She just smiled.
They were flowers. They were for me. They were from Dave! Dave who has never sent me flowers! Dave is allergic to flowers, so it is very rare that we have flowers in house. Dave is not home. Dave is half a planet away. Dave sent me flowers! Five days later and I’m still giddy.
I put them in my room, by my gorgeous giraffe canvases (I’m a Steven Brown fan). Now when I walk into my room at the end of the day, tired, usually grouchy, I’m greeted by the smell of roses & happy giraffes. I go to sleep with a smile on my face and I wake up just as happy.
Life is not perfect but I’m looking at the bright side. I’m determined to smile.
Love it!!!!!
Knowing you are loved goes a long way to helping you be strong…glad you have that. I am 67 raising two special needs grandchildren ages 3 and 7. I feel like a stranger in a strange land. California is a foreign country to me and the resources for us are almost as non existent as yours even though we are in our own country. The oldest boy is autistic and the younger one should have already been diagnosed as well, but the wheels of our government move slowly and sometimes even backwards it seems. I knew my way around the east coast where I last worked, here the traffic, the strangeness of living in a Ghetto and the ridiculous stupidity of the school systems have made me look for alternative ways to raise these little guys. They are healthy and beautiful. We have a blue beta fish, magical friends, and lots of adventures. Thanks for sharing. Hope all gets worked out soon so you can hug your hubby. Nana in California
Holding you in harmony and light. Hang in there dear. Thinking of you.
I’m so glad, I was worried about you.