My days are starting to blend together. The four walls of my office-turned-bedroom seem smaller every day. At night it feels like I’m in a 2X5 cell. Just big enough for me. The loneliness is overwhelming.
For someone who lives on her computer, even running a site as small as the Studio is a huge time commitment, it’s amazing that’s not my life. My life are the people around me. My kids, husband, friends, the daily people on my errands. All of which are fading away.
I hear the kids outside my door, I see them run by in the hall. Sure, they stop in. They sit with me. Visit. In a way I hear more about their days now then I did before. But. I can’t drive them to practice. I’ve never met any of the kids on Tess’ golf team. I don’t know the new kids at Dane’s break dance. And I can only remember, for sure, the one guy at Dave’s new office.
I’ve been stuck in my bed, foot held above my heart, for 5 weeks. Five long, miserable weeks. My bone is healing beautifully (Pride Before Fall). But, there’s always a but & this is a big one, my foot is not. It’s dangling at an angle. Leaning to the left. It’s refusing to straighten out even with hours of agonizing PT. Even worse? It’s swollen. Disgustingly, painfully, swollen.
The second I bring it down lower, the swelling increases. Even sitting up, my foot up (but below my heart) causes more swelling. If I do anything, even going to physical therapy, the swelling increases until I once again have a Fred Flintstone size foot. And so, I’m in bed. In my office. Avoiding stairs. Avoiding people. Foot up.
I am going insane. Crazy. Bored. Lonely. My neck aches from looking to the side, at my monitor next to my bed, keyboard in my lap. Trying to work, keep busy. Useful. Instead of getting easier, it’s all getting more difficult.
My saving grace is the cat. Mochi. Mochi who now loves me. Who comes to me. Who spends her days with me. Mochi, who right now is laying next to me. Curled up in a coma, head tucked in, sleeping away. Touching me. Always touching me. Giving me comfort & love and making my days bearable.
But. Again with the buts. I could really do without her help. I cannot tell you how often she “helps”. Typing for me, when really, I can do that myself.
I wanted to hear better news about your foot. But, I’m glad to hear Mochi is coming around! <3
I’m so sorry you are still struggling with your foot. I can’t imagine having to stay in bed as you describe for days on end. It would drive me insane too. Hoping for better news soon!
It just seems inconceivable that you were just standing at a wedding and your leg just BROKE! Who could possibly foresee something like that? And then to have it be such a serious break that you required complicated surgery along with so much time completely immobile just isn’t even fair. I am surprised that the doctors can’t figure out why your foot should be so affected and just “fix it” LOL. At least one bright side is the company of Mochi. I recently suffered from severe insect bites on my ankles and feet and while I sat in a recliner with my feet up, my cat Sophie spent most of her napping hours in my lap. She thought I did it just for her. There is nothing like a warm, furry, purring bundle to make you feel better. Prayers and thoughts are being sent to you from all of your Studio family. Get well soon.
You have every right to whine. I would be too. From Tennessee USA to your bed in Germany, my heart goes out to you and my prayers go up for strength and healing and comfort. God bless you and restore you.
I know the pain. Not broken leg pain. But stuck at home mostly in bed pain. I have a small dictionary worth of ailments, each of which has leg and foot pain as a symptom. Several are nerve related and nerve pain doesn’t take a nap with aspirin or tylenol. It just stays and stays, 24×7, 365 days of the year. Sometimes the various ailments will abate a little and I run around like mad cleaning house and washing clothes. Sometimes, especially when the weather changes it gets worse. There are many levels of pain beyond “the fetal position”. Those of you with severe chronic pain know what I’m talking about.
Toiny — seriously—you are doing _HORRIBLE_ things to your spine the way you are working now. The damage you are inflicting upon your spine will not be easily repaired. Get yourself an iPad Pro. Don’t skimp on memory and storage. Wifi Yes, cellular–meh. will be worth the investment rather than crippling yourself more and having even more pain and more medical bills. I can make 3600×3600 300 dpi papers with ease. Vector elements? no problem. Open or create PSDs? yep. Extract elements from photos. yes, again. Spread sheets, you got it. Plus you can blog, do all the social media you want, and run your business. And another good thing, you can install apps on both the iPad and your computer so that you can access your computer from the iPad. Grab files, store files. Even take remote control of your computer. It is sooooo much easier using an iPad in bed. I use pillows to prop it up to a comfortable level. With all those creative minds in your house, I am sure they can set you up righteous. 🙂
Keep keeping us posted. You are so dear to us, your customers. <3 <3 <3
cully
who mucked up her own spine doing stupid things
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