Oh. My. I’m lost in paperwork Hell. Who thought it would be a good idea to have open enrollment right as the holidays rolled around? We’ve now had civilian insurance for a full year. I’m still not clear on all the deductibles, claims, reimbursements, cost-share, in-network, PPO, FSA, WTF, etc.

And now I have to either renew & re-enroll, or lose insurance all together, or pick a new plan better suited to my needs, now that I know what those needs are. But I don’t. And, hence, therefore, soforth, I’m buried in paperwork. I’m taking each bill. Figuring out which we paid, which insurance paid, which FSA paid, which are hiding in my pile of bills due. I’m seriously questioning my decision to ever have kids or get married. There are bills in everyone’s name!

In fact, there are bills in the cat & rats names.  Did I tell you our last rat died this summer? Our beautiful Shay baby got sick right around the time Dave’s dad got sick. Papa died on Sunday, the following Saturday, right after his wake, Shay died in our friends arms across the planet in Germany. I literally screamed, in Gramma’s tiny kitchen full of people, when Laura called me. I screamed in frustration, anger, sadness.  My eyes cry now, I swear I have no control over them anymore, just thinking about poor Shay dying without us there. Without us holding her and telling her we love her one more time. It’s one bill I don’t mind paying.

Now the cat, on the other hand, that lazy beast! I mind paying all her bills. She’s a demanding minx. She’s constantly laying on my keyboard, or my pile of papers, or meowing at me to open the door, feed her, or her latest demand, start a fire. That cat is relentless.  She has me trained.

I’m thinking I need to take more of the cats view of life and forget that pile of paperwork staring me in the face.