I’m homesick.  The snow has turned to rain and outside it is muddy & gray.  It matches my mood.  My home, what I think of as home, is no longer there.  Or rather, not part of my family anymore.  My parents sold our home, the one in California, years ago.  But it is this home I’m homesick for.

I miss yelling through the house for my sisters.  I miss the smell of my mom’s cooking.  I miss the big back yard, the constant sun, and the fruit trees. I miss taking the day off from school (technically it was playing hooky) and cruising over the Santa Cruz mountains, on 17, or even highway 9 or 84, to grab lunch at the beach.  I really, really miss bagel dogs.

I don’t know how my mom did it all those years.  So far from her mom, her sisters and brothers.  I remember anxiously waiting for letters from home (Holland), in those blue Par Avion, super light-weight envelopes.  One time my Opa even sent a cassett, with his voice recorded reading my favorite story out loud.

Nowadays, things are much better.  We have skype!  It’s almost like having my mom & sisters come to visit.  I’m in absolute love with skype and multi-person video conferencing. It’s not the same as yodelling through the house, but it puts a huge smile on my face. I’d still rather have them right here, with me.  For reals.