I did it again! I spent too much time looking at photo’s trying to find the perfect captures of a perfect week. How can I get so lost in photo’s? In memories? It’s only a week ago. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Right at this very second my house is completely silent. All I hear is the clicking of the keyboard. Tess is at school. Despite my best efforts to get Dane back on Germany time he’s fast asleep, taking a nap on the couch. And Cole is hard at work on his college classes, clicking on his own keyboard in the basement. I miss my other three boys. I miss the constant yelling, playing, laughing. I had 5 blissful days filled with all six of my kids and now the emptiness feels like a physical presence, bearing down on me, crushing me in its silence.

I am beyond proud of my boys. They’ve each taken a very different path, but all three are standing on their own two feet. Living their own lives and doing exactly what I raised them to do.  I just wish they were all doing it living next door. At least on the same continent.  Don’t get me wrong, I am happy. I am proud. I just miss them. Looking at the photo’s brings back so many happy memories, and an overwhelming longing for days gone by.

Letting your kids go is one of the hardest things a parent does. When Soren left for college, I cried for 6 months before and six months after. People scoffed at me, made fun of me. Why would I cry when he was at college? It is a fantabulous achievement. College. I got more love & support & understanding when Christian joined the Marines. Even more when he deployed to Afghanistan.  Crying & worrying then makes sense.  But to my mom heart?  Any time any one of them is not right here… I worry. I miss them.

I don’t care that they are halfway into their twenties, they are my babies and I miss them. I am incredibly thankful for the wonderful week I just had with them. How much they made me laugh till I cried. How loud, rambunctious, how much my children they still are.

Huh. What a melancholy post. I meant to ooh & aah over my amazing holidays, at the beach, in almost 90F weather, in October, with my kids & family. It was fantabulous! We were blessed with gorgeous weather. We swam, fished, played, saw a pirate show (with a seal & a sea lion!). It was perfect.

Nick & Dane

At the hotel 10 minutes, and I lost Dane… he was already at the beach digging holes with Christian.


I’m not a morning person, but give me jet lag & I will finally see a sunrise!


Turns out my sister had jet lag too LOL! That’s me…


I don’t know where my sister went, but my niece & I managed a quiet, early morning walk (Pokemon hunting!) on the beach, just us two.


Dane, beach bum.


My sister on the boat.


Annelore & Aeden go fishing!


Dane caught the first fish!


Cole caught a fish too!


Soren caught a fish! He’s so proud!


Fishing is exhausting. Amadeo & Dane are both falling asleep… Aeden is out cold in the captain’s cabin with Christian (Marines get sea-sick. Oops. Did not know that).


For a sea-sick Marine, Chris looks pretty darn good!


Amadeo & Dane are very, very proud of their catch!


Oma, Aunt & Tess… sunscreen is COLD!


I don’t know how, but Tess was seated between Oma & Opa on their 50th Anniversary. My poor mom was forced to feed herself cake while Tess got fed by Opa.