I am truly thankful I have my twice-a-week Personal Notes, not only does it keep me journaling, reminds me of the good (and bad) that’s happened in the last couple of days but it’s permanent. On paper. The days fly by so fast, the kids are getting so big. So much happens every day that just flies out of my mind, never to be heard again. Forgotten.
Today I have no photo’s. None. Zero. Zip. For me, being a very visual person, I hate not having photo’s with my stories. The photo’s are the proof, it really happened. It’s real. Tada! I have a photo! It is also my partner in documenting. It is not just the story, not just the journaling, but the photo’s. I change every day. I don’t think so. My mirror says I’m still 18. It’s true! But the photo’s tell a different story, a real story. I am getting older, grayer, maybe even wiser. I prefer wise-lines over worry-lines!
This last week, the last three weeks, have been rough. So rough that even my mirror can’t lie and tell me I’m 18. I see the deep wise-lines on my face. The grey in my hair is poking miles above the soft blond I still have. My leg, my stupid, stupid leg, is throbbing with the stress. They make drugs for pain, relaxing, sleeping but not for throbbing. I may lose my mind. Except.. I won’t.
The worst is over! Dave is home. He is finally, really, truly home. It is not that I’m not independent, self-reliant, capable. It is not that I’ve never been on my own before. He is a soldier. It’s what we do. This time was different. We are facing the looming prospect of retirement and no idea what happens next (Juggling Glass Balls). I had surgery (If you have to have surgery…) and I’m waiting on tests. Delayed tests. The good news is Dave can go with me next week to get those results. YAY!
Dave is home. He spent three weeks away, up at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center to re-learn how to use his body (Me + Baby = Happy). It was extremely intense. It used multiple disciplines, biofeedback, acupuncture, yoga, therapy and more, to not only teach him to move in new ways to rebuild his body, but to retrain his mind. He is not magically fixed. He will never be magically fixed but he is stronger. Not just in body, but in his mind. He believes there is nothing he can’t do. He may be old. He may be broken. But he is determined.
This program has been truly life-changing. Not just for Dave, but for me. I can’t yet, I still have stitches holding me together, but next week we will both be crawling the halls like Spiderman, stretching like yogi’s and rebuilding our bodies. It is not for vanity, it is for survival. We will be 50 this year. Our bodies are feeling 50. That is now. With hard work, time together, a new future ahead of us, we will feel 25 again. In mind and body.