It is freezing here. I mean that in every sense of the word. It is freezing. Below zero freezing. We’ve hit the coldest week since we got to Germany, more than 11 years ago. It’s still not as cold as Minnesota on a warm day in winter, but it’s below zero. It’s freezing.
Even worse though, they’ve frozen our lockdown. We are locked down longer. Frozen in place. My spirit is demoralized. The view out my window is only so great when I get frequent reminders of how great it is. When it’s all I see, its greatness fades away and despair sets in.
I wish I was being dramatic. I’m not. I’m having daily, sometimes hourly, conversations with myself.
“This too shall pass.”
“You are still healthy.”
“Everyone you love is healthy.”
“Your dad got his first vaccination.”
“You have Skype! FaceTime! Internet! So much more than your Oma had.”
“Think of the money you are saving!”
The conversations get longer each day, and each day my little burst of happiness post-conversation gets shorter. I miss leaving the house for more than my daily walk, or twice-a-week rapid shopping trips. I’m finding my character is not as sound as I thought. I’m overwhelmed with jealousy and anger. I can barely look at Facebook. My friends status updates overwhelm me with negative feelings.
I have friends in restaurants, bars, sporting events, even Disney World! What the hell? What the actual hell? I can’t even have my friend & her husband over. I can’t even play a board game, in my own home, with friends. With a friend, sure. Not two. Definitely not three.
I’m losing myself.
The pictures look lovely–and cold. (You always take beautiful photos. )I’m sure if I lived where it is below zero for a long time I might change my mind about snow. Regarding being isolated, please know you are not alone. Like you, I love to travel and have not been anywhere in over a year due to Covid in the USA. It IS hard. Ex. My husband and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary last month, not on a trip, not a big party with friends, but at home, as we started our marriage with just the two of us–but this time with no big wedding celebration. But life goes on and I am thankful for many things. That’s what I think we have to do now, just continue to look for the positive: I have finally had one shot of the Covid 19 vaccine, I am well, I have friends I can call/and text, I have family, I have two dogs sleeping at my feet…that’s all we can do, think positive and keep busy. Wishing you well where you are. I admire you and all you do. This too shall pass–and I hope soon!
May our God in heaven bring you peace of mind and comfort you through this terrible time.
Hang in there. The light at the end of the tunnel IS coming. We just cannot see it yet. I have found peace in cooking. Never much liked to cook before. Trying new recipes and pushing out of my comfort zone.
You get pretty snow – we get cold rain and more cold rain. You see the folks on Facebook at Disney and other places and get jealous. I just get more depressed (and a bit angry) because their actions are causing the “lock-down” here to last longer for each of us who are actually obeying the rules. The number of cases are down and so are the deaths – but I’m waiting for the Superbowl party numbers to hit. However, I finally have an appointment for my 1st shot next week. I live in the state that is #50 in terms of vaccine roll-out, and here in my little corner of the world, only about half are actually wearing their masks (well, another 20% are wearing them on their chins, apparently because they breathe through their chins) properly and practicing social distancing.
On a lighter note – the robins are here, one of their stops in their migration north, so I know that spring IS coming. And with it, my mood will improve. I hope. Hang in there – this too shall pass.
It’s even colder here in Nebraska, USA! Snowy too. We add an inch or two almost every night. I know all governments want us to think they are doing something. But, lockdowns don’t work, masks may or may not work. It’s a virus and most will get it sooner or later. Get out, enjoy your walks. Talk to anyone you see, even from 6ft. away. Don’t rush those shopping trips, slow down and savor them. Fear does a number on the mind. Among the people I know, my family, friends, just people in the area, many have had Covid, some sicker than others, but not a single one has died. I’ve had it. Came down with it the week before Christmas and was over it by New Years. It may have been for the second time because I definitely had symptoms back in late March 2020. Never got tested. In March there was no testing available and in Dec. I felt lousy and chose not to make the 50mi. round trip to get tested. When you lose your sense of smell & taste you know what you have. See if you can get a good multi-vitamin with a good amount of zinc. Take additional D3 and Quercetin(works like hydroxychloroquine), extra strength Tylenol which has aspirin(for prevention of blood clots). Those will help you even if you catch the virus. Oh, and get some sort of elderberry supplement. Good stuff. In the meantime enjoy the scrapping. Working with color is soothing. I usually play with my fabric, sew and dream about quilts yet to be made.